Did you know that the PM of the Ukraine is a superfox? Park steampunk, part Princess Leia, all woman. I love you, Yulia and I think you should leave the cold, heartless halls of Ukrainian power and wealth to live with me in a crappy apartment in Brasil. Or we could sail around the world together, making sweet love before you decide to eat me or have me killed.
I have a crush on Amy Boone. Amy is in the Damnations and is more famous than me and more attractive and more talented. Maybe that’s why I have a crush on her. I was talking to a friend of hers about my crush and he said, “I’ve had a crush on Amy for 10 years and I’ve even been drunk enough to tell her a few times. She is everything you could ever want in a woman. So enigmatic, charming, creative. If I had a million dollars and you knew how to get Amy, I would give it to you.”
I like having crushes. Especially crushes that have little hope of fruition. Or none. I don’t really want to date Amy; I just want to have a crush on her. If you keep a crush a crush then it never gets spoiled by reality. The reality is that she might be lame or dumb or bitchy. I know that she is none of those things. Amy is perfect and wonderful.
My crush says so.
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