On the little walk into Savassi today a trashy cocktail waitress (look-a-like) with little star tattoos, ironic 70’s Farah Fawcett sunglasses and designer jeans passed by. I stopped her, “Hey, I know you. You hang out at the Lone Palm for Thursday happy hour (or the Longbranch, I can’t remember), don’t you?!” She looked at me funny, squinting, and wouldn’t let me take her picture.
Ran across a website were people send in emails and IM’s from their mothers. It’s touching and sappy and I’m eating it up. Some Sadness. I could read these things all day. It was not my intention to spend the morning a little weepy, reading cheesy letters from moms but here I am, Saturday morning, like a motherfucker. Here are some highlights.
me: hi mom
mom: hi pookie…i just booked tickets for zumanity. miss you
me: What is zumanity?
mom: it is a very erotic show that explores sexuality.
hopefully dad will enjoy it
lol
it is at new york new york where we are staying
me: oh dear lord
does dad know about this?
mom: yeah….it explores gay stuff too
he he
he shold be ok…there are boobs in it
too
zumanity.com
me: well i can’t click on that right now because i’m at work
mom: oh…maybe later then
————————
Do not say wamp wamp. It is meaningless and vulgar!!
is it supposed to have a meaning??
Love, Mummy
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In other news, your father asked me this morning if he could borrow my nasal irrigator. I got very excited, thinking he was being pro-active in fighting the cold that’s got him sniffling non-stop already. Turns out he just wanted to use the irrigator to inject jelly into the croissants he was baking. I could write a fucking book.
I’ve got to buckle down now and read this new script.
XXOO
MA
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I’m just as excited as you about Peru! Just PLEASE don’t fall in love with an Inca Indian. It’s hard enough planning a NYC wedding, never mind a different continent!
Good idea to check with Health Services re Hep A.
SUMMER IS COMING!!!! Love, Mom
———————–
I also love you and I don’t mean to be “mean and horrible every single day.” I am not defending myself - obviously I am offending and hurting you, but I just wonder if you are being a bit hyperbolic about the extent of my meanness? I guess I am thinking that if I am as awful as you allege, you should probably divorce me.
Mom
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Mom: Why don’t you marry your friend Caroline, she can have a baby. Your brother could be the donor so it would be my real grandchild. It would be your neice or nephew as well as your son or daughter.
Me: Wow it appears you’ve put some thought into this.
Mom: it came to me last night, I thought it was an awesome idea. run my idea by Caroline I’ll even pay for the psychiatrist the kid will need one day.
I know I haven’t been actually posting anything proper, original content but Katy’s been in town and whatnot. I have a few things in the works. In the meantime, here’s a shiny video of the cherry trees blossoming at the Brooklyn Botanic Garden.
I had a tooth pulled on Monday afternoon and I’ve been taking it easy the last few days. Making lemonade, sort of. Vicodin + Beer + blogs/video games/movies = achy mouth and fun times. I wish I was living in victorian times with a stern but luscious caretaker who brought me larger than needed doses of laudanum stroked my hair, tenderly.
I would need a chaise lounge, though.
Obama fucking slammed Hillary Clinton responding to her claims this weekend that she was a hunter. I love it when he gets snarky like this.
“She’s running around talking about how this is an insult to sportsmen, how she values the Second Amendment, she’s talking like she’s Annie Oakley! Hillary Clinton’s out there like she’s on the duck blind every Sunday, she’s packin’ a six shooter! C’mon! She knows better. That’s some politics being played by Hillary Clinton. I want to see that picture of her out there in the duck blinds.”
Here’s the video.
Update: By the way, I don’t care if he’s a snob. I’m glad for it. I’m a snob. And I don’t want someone to be President of the United States who thinks they’re just normal folk. Come on. They should be the smartest person in the room. And if they’re not, they should be able to hold their own with the smartest person in the room. We’ve had 8 years of a president who’s just a guy. Fuck that. Intimidate me with your brilliance, my self esteem can take it.
