J. Beaman - The Magazine

Work was a kicked my goddamned ass tonight. I feel like I’m so out of my element here. I feel like a fraud and because I feel like I’m failing I want to say, “Fuck those people and their wine and their osso buco and their perfect smiles and their silverware placement.”

Jesus Christ.

I’m angry and frustrated and overreacting. They think I’m doing fine and it was only my third day and every day it will get better and better and everyday I will continue to write run-on sentences strung together by lame conjunctions.

IZZE is my new favorite thing. Kind of an expensive addiction but I’ve had worse. I bought four of them after work and plan on drinking them all. Medicate with IZZE.

Those of you who pray, pray. And those of you who call, call.

I’ll probably feel better in the morning. I usually do.

I just got off work.

Doesn’t that sound nice. I’ll try again.

I just got off work. Oh nice.

Tonight was just my “trial” shift and as if I wasn’t uncomfortable enough with that, Elizabeth, the manager, said to me when I got there, “Just think of tonight as a working interview.”

Oh, that hurts. A working interview? What does that even mean? Aren’t the sitting interviews are hard enough?

But (as expected, I may do lots of things wrong, but I am a good worker) I was able to get the job done well and pick things up quickly and I only dropped one chopstick and one butter knife.

So, my feet hurt and my eyes are a little burny but I have some energy to tell you about it. But only in list form.

1. All women. Need me to say that again? The entire front house is women. Ok, there’s a dude behind the bar and they may be hiring another server assistant who is a guy. Oh, and all the girls are foxy.

2. There’s mean French waitress who, I imagine, probably isn’t mean. And she scares me. But that’s good because when I get on her good side it will be all the sweeter.

3. One of the opening duties for the server’s assistant (that’s me) is to go to the kitchen and find out what all the kitchen staff want to drink. A couple lattes, lemonade, iced tea with honey. You make it exactly as they want it–no matter how picky they are. Do you realize how cool that is?

4. Everyone gets along (see #3).

5. Bridgette, who trained me, on the owner. “Brad is cool. He runs this place like a commune…he only buys from who he likes and respects. He’s just cool.”

6. Bridgette again, “The best part of the night is employee meal time.” Two hours later, “Oh, I can’t wait for employee meal time.” Two hours later, “See that bowl on the counter? That means it’s almost employee meal time.” Steak sandwiches, fresh halibut, wild rice, some kind of curried vegetables and salads for everyone. All for free.

7. Elizabeth, manager, “Well, we want you to work here.” Yay! And a few minutes later, “We’re ok with tattoos.” Yay again!