J. Beaman - The Magazine

A website for christians that sends emails to their heathen friends explaining what has happened and given them (us) one more chance to pull their (our) heads out of their (our) asses before we burn. From the website:

We have set up a system to send documents by the email, to the addresses you provide, 6 days after the “Rapture” of the Church. This occurs when 3 of our 5 team members scattered around the U.S fail to log in over a 3 day period. Another 3 days are given to fail safe any false triggering of the system.

We give you 150mb of encrypted storage that can be sent to 12 possible email addresses, in Box #1. You up load any documents and choose which documents go to who. You can edit these documents at any time and change the addresses they will be sent to as needed. Box #1 is for your personal private letters to your closest lost friends and relatives.

Ok, here’s some important things:

If you think that I’m going to burn in hell for eternity just because I don’t think like you that makes you an asshole and I despise you. I don’t want your emails and I’ll be glad you’re gone. Ooooh. Wait a minute! Unless the “documents” in the “encrypted storage” are the deeds to all of your churches where my friends and I could outfit with cool modern design furniture and have hip, swanky cocktail parties.

Actually, the rapture is a totally awesome idea.

Are those who believe a in a literal interpretation of the bible stupider than those who don’t? Don’t start arguing with me either. My IQ is high enough to know better than to take IQ scores seriously but it’s so fun to see the chart.

He then compares the game to, of all things, polio. “Grand Theft Auto IV is the gravest assault upon children in this country since polio. We now have vaccines for that virus… The ‘vaccine’ that must be administered by the United States government to deal with this virtual virus of violence and sexual depravity is criminal prosecutions of those who have conspired to do this. If you doubt me, look at the aforementioned streaming audio/video. It will make you sick.”This is where the story takes a turn, because Jack Thompson provides a link to a video, put together by the gaming news site IGN, called “Ladies of Liberty City.” Be careful clicking on that link; there is absolutely nothing there that is safe for work.

GTA IV sex video gives Thompson, other critics fresh ammo

Polio. Really? If only polio was as fun as GTA IV. By the way, I grabbed a copy. Katy, Mark and I got pretty drunk at Mission Bar last night (Mission Bar is right next door to the Gamespot) waiting for the line to go down, played for about an hour and then passed out.

Here’s the video: