So, folks, I know I haven’t been blogging lately but I have a pile of stories to share; some written, some not. There coming, though, in a big pile early next week. One of the reasons I haven’t been available to write (besides my artful laziness) has been the arduous search for a new house. After days of searching and days of bureaucratic fucking nonsense and hours of wandering the aisles of the supermarket, the hardware store and the crap-ass mall, I am nearly moved in with all that I require.

The point of this post, as tacky as it may be, is to let you, my dear friends, have the opportunity to shower me with housewarming gifts. I had a moderate amount of money budgeted for the entire move and exceed said budget. Really exceed it.

Any amount would be super radical and you can consider it a donation to God’s work. Because that’s what I’m doing down here. The work of the Lord.

Here’s some examples of what you dollar amounts will buy:

5 bucks - an awesome kitchen knife

10 bucks - a cutting board

12 bucks - all my silverware

20 bucks - my kitchen table

30 bucks - really cool clay water filter

40 bucks - the modem for the webs

50 bucks - all my cleaning supplies (broom, mop, tons of other shit)

60 bucks - my stove

80 bucks - my refrigerator

200 bucks - my undying love

I’m also going to use this space to publicly thank all the folks who have helped make my new life here a reality:

Oliver - couldn’t ask for a better friend
Alice and Magaly - the only ones with the balls and the love to come and visit
The Ritual crew (Eileen, Ryan, Naya) - for giving me something to do. thanks for making me feel valuable
Steve - for not getting cranky with me when I’m being a bitch and always being available to help out (we’re painting tomorrow)
Brad and Jennifer and Essie and Elisha - for thinking of me and reminding me that I can have my job back anytime
The Brazil Crew (Matias, Carmen, Hudson, Maíra, Mariana and Filipe) - for co-signing (seriously!) on my new place, for driving me around and moving fucking furniture and endless streams of great advice. a bunch of free stuff. and for, most importantly, drinking beer with me in the afternoon..