A Bittersweet Victory
So, this week I received an email from my dad’s brother (the significance of that is here, here and here) who I haven’t seen in 25 years. I called him about ten or eleven years ago but I might have been drunk. Those early twenties were a bit jangly. But he found me through the blog and wrote and I wrote back and we’ll see how it plays. It’s hella weird. I spent a day or so with a sick fucking knot in my gut alternating between a profound sense of aloneness and a chunk of visceral anger. The kind that’s bad for your teeth. But he did write something that made me laugh out loud:
We have read parts of your blog, some of it makes us so sad and we can read the anger in it. Some of it we just have to skip over.
Ha! I wonder what parts they (him and my aunt and my cousins, I presume) had to skip over? I’ll write him back soon. “Anger is art.” I’ll say. It’s cathartic, sure, but mostly it’s just fun write angry screeds and make people uncomfortable. It’s a hoot.
But today. I actually am angry. It’s not just for fun. It’s for really reals.
As most of you know I have been an ardent supporter of Barack Obama. I’m thrilled that he has been elected and I see it as a turning point for the US and the world. But, people, we have a huge fucking problem.
The people of the my great state of California have apparently amended their constitution to eliminate the right of same-sex couples to marry. And I’m pissed. FUCK THESE PEOPLE. The christians. The mormons. The fucking uneducated (see here. Every single county in California where less than 10% of the population has a bachelors degree voted for this shit.) Who the fuck do they think they are? And I know, some of your parents voted for this. Some of your Aunts and Uncles and cousins. Loving and kind people who are charming and helpful. Well, fuck them. They’re bigots and they should be shamed into obscurity. Some of you are moderate, loving, good religious people who think this amendment is awful. And I love you for that.
One other important thing. And this is key. DON’T GET MARRIED. To loosely quote Henri, “If the Christians want to play keepaway with the word marriage let them have it.” If our gay friends, relatives and loved ones can’t get married the we have no fucking right to either. No Fucking Right.
Let’s amend the constitution so that if you’re IQ is under 120 you can’t get married. Or have children. Or fucking vote.
And a direct message to those who voted for this: How fucking dare you? You have no right to strip a whole class of citizens of the right to marry. In America. Fucking America. I despise you and a day will come when you are social pariahs. And I will dance on your cultural grave. James Dobson, Chuck Colson you will be shamed and shunned from any civilized discourse. You are the new Jesse Helms and Strom Thurmond.
Am I bad for the movement? Probably. But, thankfully, no one really cares what I think.
Shit. I just watched Obama’s victory speech and now I feel like a crank. Everything’s is going to fine. It’s all ok.
7 Comments, Comment or Ping
poshdeluxe
i’m inspired and amazed by obama’s win, but there IS a lot of work to be done. a hell of a lot of work.
it’s gonna be hard, but i’m ready.
Nov 5th, 2008
Matias
I think we need LESS religious tolerance, not more. What’s up with the kid gloves? You can criticize someone’s political afiliation, their choice of clothes or their taste in music all you want, but when you start criticizing their religious beliefs, everyone freaks out and starts screaming “hater, hater”.
Well, you know what? I’m a hater. I hate the fact that some people are so stupid and infantile that they need to relinquish control of their lives to some father figure called god (that’s right, no capital g) that tells them how to behave.
There’s nothing out there, it’s just us and the people we love, and if you’re too weak to deal with that, maybe suicide is a good option.
Nov 5th, 2008
Filipe
hear! hear!
Nov 5th, 2008
micael
Prop 8 passed in LA county and I wasn’t allowed to vote on it. NPR was saying it looked like some 25% of people who registered to vote within the last 3 months were turned away at the voting booth.
Christie and I registered in September. The last day to register was October 20th. We were both denied our right to vote, and LA county went to the religious dickholes.
I am beyond pissed.
Nov 5th, 2008
Heather
Prop 8 hasn’t passed yet…it’s still listed on CNN and on the “No on Prop 8″ site as undecided. Fingers are crossed (though I think voting helped more).
A friend of mine at work suggests we work to get a proposition on the ballot that outlaws divorce. He says that will teach them about the sanctity of marriage.
Nov 5th, 2008
Christie
I come from a family of “the christians”. The people who voted yes on prop 8, every single one of my family members. J, I couldn’t agree with you more on every aspect of this post. Fuck em. There is no room in this country or world for their ignorance. I am truly sorry and embarrassed.
Nov 6th, 2008
Henri
Seriously.
A couple of other points, though -
We have to be somewhat tolerant of the people with the crazy religious views because it’s the only way to get them to look past that insanity. If we attack too hard, Hitchens style, say, then there’s going to be no common ground and none of us grow up. That’s why we’ve got to be okay with the “governing from the middle” crap. They aren’t evil, just ignorant and afraid, and our only course of action is opening their eyes.
That said, the other part of my point that I was saying when I said no one else should get married wasn’t that we should avoid lifelong commitments that are recognized by the state. We should just all pursue civil unions. Because I don’t care about the word “marriage.” If we can get all the rights and official recognition, I don’t give a crap if we can’t be seen as bonded in god’s eyes, because I know there isn’t a god to be looking and anyone with religious sensibilities trained on any of the good parts of Christianity knows that their god has got to be focused on things more sacred than who is marrying who.
Adding in Heather’s friend’s idea about outlawing divorce is brilliant, though. I just think you should only outlaw divorce for people who get married in a church. Those of us who get civil unions could keep all of our rights.
Also, we should add to that that you have to be a virgin to get married, and perform tests on anyone who wants to apply for a license. You wanna follow the belief system you adhere to so strictly that you think you have a right to saddle other people with your nonsense? Whatever, asshole, but we’re going to make damn sure you’re living up to your code of doucheness yourself. Fuck with that, bitches.
And lastly, we should be clear that if you have applied for a marriage license and failed the virginity test or any of the other things that you need to prove that you are just as crazy as the way you’ll vote, then you will also be denied your civil union license. Sorry! No rights for you, because you chose to follow a false god! Better luck next time.
Nov 6th, 2008
Reply to “A Bittersweet Victory”