Carmen Fucking Burns
I’m going to start a new series of posts on the blog introducing my friends in Brazil (lifted from my friend Sarah, although I’m not going to interview anyone. I don’t really care what they have to say) and it’s a goddamned treat to present to you Miss Carmen Burns.
Carmen is Matias’s girlfriend (Matias, who will never make it on here. He’s got some ego problems) and is equal parts charming, hilarious, angry, beautiful, helpful, don’t take no shit from nobody, volatile, thoughtful and…angry. I know I said it twice but it bears repeating.
Case in point. Last night:
“What’s wrong with you?” To me. She glares.
“Nothing.”
“I hate it when you do that.”
“Do what?”
“You’re bored. I hate that.”
“I’m not bored.”
“Shut up. You are too. You’re not leaving me here.”
She glares. She’s right. I’m not going anywhere. I fear her.
She throws things. Lighters. Mostly at Matias (he deservers it 73% of the time) but threatened me with a phone last night.
Every time she’s mean (which I love. The fire.) she calles the next day to make sure I’m not mad at her. I never am.
Angry Carmen.
Dirty Carmen: We were talking about blow jobs and how some girls don’t really like them. Carmen’s response? “That’s crazy. I love dick.”
Semi-Retarded Carmen.
Scary, Sexy, Mean. Awesome.
Here she is talking about her dad (I know it’s in Portuguese but note the perfectly placed “Tom Fucking Burns” and the artful “Ha! Não sei” as in “Ha! I don’t know!):
My Internet is being stupid and not letting me watch the video, but I’m a fan of this new feature. I like the idea of stealing it for my blog in some way, too, with just introducing random people that I hang out with occasionally but who don’t make the regular list of featured players in my life.
I also approve of people throwing things at you, and especially of calling people out when they’re bored and then not letting them leave. That makes it entertaining again, and it’s impossible to be bored!
If I knew that you were going to make specials about your Brazilian friends I would have postponed my travel to France !
this is an excellent new development in yr blog. i love meeting people’s friends!!!!!!
carmen sounds like dynamite. she’s the kind of girl that makes me shy, cos i’m secretly in worship.
Fuck, I couldn’t have described her better myself, gotta love that dick-sucking, lighter-throwing sociopath like a motherfucker. And I do (I do love her, not fuck mothers).
It’s interesting to see which aspects of Carmen you chose to present, and on which of those you expanded. She photographs very well.
Kniquii, it’s not so much that she photographs well as it is she’s a stone-cold fox. ‘Course, I’m a little biased… :p
No doubt, Matias. I sure as shit wouldn’t want to compete with that. Intimidatingly, provocatively beautiful woman.
thanks guys. AND I´M NOT ANGRY!!!!
Leave your response!
Recent Shit
Friends
podcasts i listen to
stuff i read
the news
Archives
Tag Cloud
Categories
Most Commented
About
J. Beaman is practically unemployed, living is brazil and loves the new Antony & the Johnsons record.
I like:
a. books
b. girls
c. rock and roll
d. being insensitive to religious folks
e. food and wine
f. restaurants
g. waitresses
I do not like:
a. religious people
b. reality TV
c. the Garden State Soundtrack
d. Vermont
e. astrology
f. vegans (and to a lesser extent vegetarians)
g. so many other things
more...