Oh, the Silly, Silly Christians
A website for christians that sends emails to their heathen friends explaining what has happened and given them (us) one more chance to pull their (our) heads out of their (our) asses before we burn. From the website:
We have set up a system to send documents by the email, to the addresses you provide, 6 days after the “Rapture” of the Church. This occurs when 3 of our 5 team members scattered around the U.S fail to log in over a 3 day period. Another 3 days are given to fail safe any false triggering of the system.
We give you 150mb of encrypted storage that can be sent to 12 possible email addresses, in Box #1. You up load any documents and choose which documents go to who. You can edit these documents at any time and change the addresses they will be sent to as needed. Box #1 is for your personal private letters to your closest lost friends and relatives.
Ok, here’s some important things:
If you think that I’m going to burn in hell for eternity just because I don’t think like you that makes you an asshole and I despise you. I don’t want your emails and I’ll be glad you’re gone. Ooooh. Wait a minute! Unless the “documents” in the “encrypted storage” are the deeds to all of your churches where my friends and I could outfit with cool modern design furniture and have hip, swanky cocktail parties.
Actually, the rapture is a totally awesome idea.
Here here! I would *love* it if there was an actual rapture. Not only do we get to repurpose the cool architecture of churches to actually cool uses, we get to burn down all the sterile big box looking ones. And obviously once the Christianiest Christians are gone we’ll be able to legalize stem cell research, stop worrying about abortion, and focus on issues that will actually promote the health and general awesomeness of humanity, but I’ll be leaving all of that to the bigger people. Me? I’d just love being petty and going around to all of the Christians that thought they were going to be raptured and just laughing all day long. Basically, I’m going to tour with Stephen Baldwin, except it will be fun. And I’m going to take many vacations to Colorado Springs, too.
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