J. Beaman - The Magazine

So, check this:

L. doesn’t write me back unless I write something in the blog about her. I didn’t hear from her for a few days last week and I wrote something about her here and she responded. It was a nice response and I thought we would be able to hang out and it would be cool. We wrote back and forth a bit then I sent a playful email about how we should just fuck, you know, since there’s no risk of heartbreak or things getting weird now.

Nothing. Nothing for days.

Until I wrote a little comment about how it was a mistake not to fuck her. Well, she didn’t like that one bit. Her response:

“read the blog, nice to know how and what you think of me.”

What!? Fucking crazy girls. I already said what I think about her.

“She’s funny, charming, beautiful (so fucking beautiful - I did get some nakedness on Sunday and that was super rad) and I hope we can hang out…[and I hope] she’ll call me and we can fool around and laugh and be retarded.

But what I did learn from L. is that I like happy girls who laugh easy. L. is fun and I’ll miss that the most.”

And I should have fucked her. Because I would then be sitting here on my couch thinking, “God girls are crazy and unreliable and I just don’t understand them,” just like now, except that I would have gotten laid.

I didn’t have sex with her because I thought it was smarter to wait, to go slowly and allow a relationship to develop rather than just jumping right into the pain-in-the-ass intimacy that is sex. But I was wrong. I should have just fucked her. Because if there was real chemistry and real ‘magic’ then we couldn’t have ruined it by jumping in the sack too early. And if there wasn’t (and there wasn’t) then who cares?

Years ago, after we broke up, Sarah called her self a manizer. Reason number 9675 why I love Sarah.

Maybe thinking like this makes me a womanizer. Maybe I should call Sarah and see if she wants to fuck. That would sure be fun. She could manize me and I could womanize her and we could both not respect each other in the morning. Or maybe respect each other more.