I have a crush on Amy Boone. Amy is in the Damnations and is more famous than me and more attractive and more talented. Maybe that’s why I have a crush on her. I was talking to a friend of hers about my crush and he said, “I’ve had a crush on Amy for 10 years and I’ve even been drunk enough to tell her a few times. She is everything you could ever want in a woman. So enigmatic, charming, creative. If I had a million dollars and you …

J: Doesn’t it make you want to get back together with her? If you were me.
Tim: She did say she wants to have sex with you now. That’s something.
J: Yes it is.
Tim: Why won’t she move out here?
J: Because she has a life. Or wants one.
Tim: She can have one here.
J: Yeah.

Ohh! (profound, gutteral, oh) stake through my heart, jab in the pit of my guilt.
As a fan of your writing, and nosy ex-girlfriend that I am, you would have to expect that I would check out your zine online every 6 months of so…only to discover I feature so negatively. Is that why we’re not friends? I did want to have sex with you. You gave me the best orgasms of my life. I still want to have sex with you! I know what I said, and it was in …